Overcoming Mum Guilt: Will Parenting Get Easier?

When does this merry-go-round of parenting slow down? When can we finally take a deep breath and know that everything is okay?

My daughter is 14, so for me, it’s clear—I’ve got years to go. Parenting doesn’t seem to get “easier,” but it changes. Right now, I’ve left the stage of watching her every second of the day. She’s finally venturing out of the house, socialising with other teens, and gaining a bit of independence.

But with new freedoms come new challenges. Now, I’ve got a teenage girl who can be downright mean. Her rude comments and attitude sometimes leave me in tears.

I know, deep down, it’s just hormones and a phase. But honestly, I’m exhausted. Some days, it feels like I just don’t have the energy to remind myself, THIS WILL PASS. 

I miss the Christmases where everything felt magical. I miss the little girl who’d giggle and sing to herself, who couldn’t contain her excitement at the sight of fairy lights. Now, it’s like pulling teeth to get her to crack a smile, let alone help decorate the tree.

It’s Boxing Day today, and I have to admit—yesterday might’ve been the worst Christmas I’ve ever had.

And here’s the thing: I know I can’t control everything. I can’t change her teenage moods or bring back the carefree days of childhood. But what I can do is look after myself.

Teenagers, by nature, can forget we have feelings too. They’re navigating their own rollercoaster of emotions, and sometimes we mums are just collateral damage. That’s why today, I’m claiming a “me day.”

If I’m going to get through this next phase, I need to recharge. I need normality, consistency, and space to breathe. Because when we’re drowning in expectations and rules, the only way forward is to come up for air—and take care of ourselves.

So if you’re feeling like this too, know you’re not alone. Maybe today is your reminder to step away from the chaos and focus on what you need. The dishes can wait. The guilt can wait. For now, just be kind to yourself.

We’ve got this, one day at a time.