Trying something New: Low demand Parenting

What I was able to do when I blocked out all the external demands, orders and expectation was a new way to parent. Life hasn’t worked for a long time, we can not keep going. I knew we had to make changes.

Six months ago, someone mentioned a parenting approach called Low-Demand Parenting by Amanda Diekman. At the time, I didn’t have the brain space to even goggle it. I think the wording turned me off. But Amanda explains it so well and it makes sense.

In a way I think we live this, or atleast try. But it’s hard to sustain, it’s tiring explaining to people that my kids don’t antually cope or respond well in a communist style parenting environment. Eventual defending my open approach to change and modifying breaks me.  Trying to hold it all together to please other people kills me.

 But as life has a funny way of doing, I hit a low point recently. And when I say low, I mean the kind of low where you don’t just stumble—you collapse, flat on the ground, with no strength to crawl back up. I often have low points but mostly I can fake it eough so people don’t notice. Whether age, unmasking or understanding my ASD, I didn’t want to fake it.

It was at this breaking point that I finally saw the wisdom in the idea of taking the pressure off—not just for my kids, but for myself, too. Accepting my amazing intense brain needs it’s emotional rollercoaster to creative and explode in joy, the bigger the joy and intense creative thought the more I crash and the more rest I need.

What is Low-Demand Parenting?

At its core, Low-Demand Parenting is about reducing the pressure and expectations we place on ourselves and our kids. It’s a way of stepping back, lowering the bar, and creating space for peace, connection, and healing. For neurodiverse families like mine, this approach makes so much sense.

Instead of pushing, coaxing, or demanding, you focus on meeting your child (and yourself) where you are—no guilt, no “shoulds,” no endless battles.

My Wake-Up Call

For me, the biggest wake-up calls only seem to happen when I hit rock bottom. When I’m drained, emotionally spent, and so overwhelmed that I shut down. I go silent. I stop responding. It’s not a choice—it’s survival.

But here’s the silver lining: when I reach this point, it’s like pressing a reset button. My family knows this about me now. They see it, they recognise it, and they let me move through it at my own pace. They don’t push or question—they love me through it. And because of that, I’m able to find my way back.

Why Low-Demand Parenting Feels Right

This approach resonates deeply with me because it reflects the same kind of patience, love, and understanding my family has shown me. It’s about stepping back, taking a breath, and realising that not everything needs to be a fight.

I’ve started applying it in small ways:

• Letting go of unnecessary expectations. Some things really can wait.
• Focusing on connection over correction. Sometimes, just being together is enough.
• Allowing for rest and quiet. For my child, and for me.

The Journey Ahead

I won’t pretend I have it all figured out yet. Low-Demand Parenting is new to me, and I’m still learning. But what I do know is that it feels like the right step forward—for my family, for my daughter, and for myself.

If you’re struggling, if you’re overwhelmed, or if traditional parenting advice just isn’t working, I encourage you to look into this approach. Sometimes, the best way to move forward is to step back.

Key Takeaway

It’s okay to hit a low point—it’s often where the biggest growth happens. Be patient with yourself, surround yourself with people who love you, and remember: you don’t have to do it all. Sometimes, doing less is the most powerful thing you can do.